Many people need emotional healing. Even believers who have forgiven others still have not experienced healing. There are several Bible passages that I would like to point out as markers on a path to healing. First is the Lord’s Prayer:
Matthew 6:9-15 (AKJV) (emphasis mine)
9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. 10 Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread. 12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen. 14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15 but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
People have a hard time forgiving because they think forgiveness is a feeling, but it’s not. There are a couple of references about forgiving that are helpful. One is the parable of the king who forgave a man his considerable debt (Matt. 18:21-35). But the man forgiven of his debt then went out and found a very poor man who owed him a very small debt and had him put in prison until he paid the small debt. Forgiveness is God’s heart. He forgives us all we owe and He wants us to forgive others just as freely as we have been forgiven.
1 Peter 3:9 (AMP) (emphasis mine)
9 and never return evil for evil or insult for insult [avoid scolding, berating, and any kind of abuse], but on the contrary, give a blessing [pray for one another’s well-being, contentment, and protection]; for you have been called for this very purpose, that you might inherit a blessing [from God that brings well-being, happiness, and protection].
Bless to be blessed. Pray for the person who wounded you. Pray for their material and financial prosperity; pray for their good health and good relationships; pray for their salvation. As many times as they come to mind, pray for them. When Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive and Jesus said seventy times seven, Peter was stunned. I suspect that Jesus meant that every time that person who hurt you comes to mind, forgive him/her again – over and over.
Also, forgive God. You can have deep anger and mistrust in your heart against your Abba. “No good thing will He with-hold from those who walk uprightly.”
Romans 12:19 (AMP)
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for God’s wrath [and His judicial righteousness]; for it is written [in Scripture], “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.
After forgiving someone, you still have the wound, and it will last as long as you live if you don’t know to ask the Lord to heal it. Let’s look at Isaiah 53:3-6.
Isaiah 53:3-6 (AMP) (emphasis mine)
3 He was despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and pain and acquainted with grief; And like One from whom men hide their faces. He was despised, and we did not appreciate His worth or esteem Him. 4 But [in fact] He has borne our griefs, And He has carried our sorrows and pains; Yet we [ignorantly] assumed that He was stricken, Struck down by God and degraded and humiliated [by Him]. 5 But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was crushed for our wickedness [our sin, our injustice, our wrongdoing]; The punishment [required] for our well-being fell on Him, And by His stripes (wounds) we are healed. 6 All of us like sheep have gone astray, We have turned, each one, to his own way; But the LORD has caused the wickedness of us all [our sin, our injustice, our wrongdoing] To fall on Him [instead of us].
We hear about “by His stripes we are healed” but I don’t think I’ve ever heard a teaching about emotional healing based on Isaiah 53 where Isaiah says He took our griefs and sorrows. If one is true, so is the other. So when I was begging the Father to heal my emotional wounds, this phrase came to mind and I snatched it eagerly. Because it is an aspect of salvation it depends only on one’s obedience to the condition of confessing and forsaking one’s sins and iniquities – then forgiving others as we are so freely forgiven.
For example, I have forgiven the person who said malicious things about me, but I still feel the stabbing wound of being assualted. So I come before the Father and tell Him how that person is forgiven but I want Him to heal the wound of being assualted. He willingly takes that hurt to Himself on the cross. If the hurt doesn’t go away, then check your heart for complete forgiveness – it’s not about that other person, it’s about you. Then go back to Father and ask again for the hurt to be healed. There is no shame in repetition. Repeat this request as many times as necessary, until you are free of the associated pain. Do this for each painful memory and be patient with yourself in gaining the emotional healing Father God has promised through the precious blood of His Son.
There is another aspect of healing from sexual sins and/or violation that is usually overlooked. That is the breaking of soul ties with the individual you were involved with. Again it is done simply. Just ask Father God to forgive you for your part in the sin and then ask Him to break the soul tie. Ask Him to cauterize both ends of the broken bond with His precious blood, and the bondage is broken.
In addition to forgiveness there is the issue of negative self-talk. Our minds are going all day long and most of the thoughts are not up-building. 2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV admonishes us to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ”. Have you caught yourself saying:
I am so unworthy.
I am dirty/defiled. God couldn’t/wouldn’t forgive me.
I am a social klutz. I can’t do/say the right thing.
I am too…..
Learn to speak what the Bible says about you. Here is a link to Scriptures that tell who your are in God’s eyes. Would you disagree with Him? Scripture affirmations are like oil and wine poured into open wounds. They bring relief from pain and healing can begin.
In order to change your thought patterns you need positive thoughts to replace the negative ones. Although I have dyslexia, I have memorized whole chapters in the Psalms when in great distress – it was a matter of survival when experiencing brain washing in China. I know the power of the Word. When the stress lets up you can’t stop feeding your mind and thoughts on Jesus, though.
I have found both forgiveness and positive affirmations to be extremely difficult. It’s no wonder people struggle with healing of emotional wounds. But as you persist and gain strength, you will realize that the above described strategies truly work. Nothing you do in the Lord is easy because the devil goes about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. He is an imitation, however. The Lion of the tribe of Judah is the Creator of all things, including the fake lion.
My heart goes out in compassion to the deeply wounded. I’ve experienced severe wounding prenatally and as an infant. But the traumas continued into adulthood, and I knew the only answer was Jesus. So I pressed violently into Him (Matthew 11:12) and slowly over time He is rewarding me in ways I can only attempt to describe to my blog readers. He is well worth the cost, and far more. I thank Him for the considerable healing and integration I’ve experienced and am madly in love with Him. This is a precious journey into intimacy with the awesome Creator of my spirit who is pure and holy, gentle and yet more powerful than all His enemies combined. He is my untamed, fierce Defender, Comforter, Advocate….
Want prayer? Contact me.