Fear of Rejection. Part II

This is part two of a chapter from the book The Mind of Christ by David Murry. With his permission I post it here for your affirmation as my brothers and sisters. The book is available as a free PDF download from David’s blog. Click on “Books”. This is chapter 1 from Section Two. https://dwmurry.wordpress.com/author/dwmurry/ 

Fear of Rejection. Part II

….What we are doing is walking in tremendous strength of our willpower. One of the lies of the carnal mind is the lie that we need the approval /acceptance of others to make us feel valued. On a good day we act as if we don’t care (denying the flesh/carnal mind), we suppress our carnal impulse, we ignore the pain, stuff it down with some comfort crutch in order to dull this searing discomfort, and we declare ourselves Spirit-led and abiding in the mind of Christ. After all, we are the victorious church! Jesus described that type of person as a “white washed tomb.” That is not who we are. We are “the redeemed.”

“But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” 1 Corinthians 6:11

The Holy Spirit is in us to give us the Mind of Jesus, so that from the innermost man, now in union with Life itself, we are changed into His image by accepting His Word as truth and walking in it. He works from the inside out.

Some believers may be quick to recognize that they struggle with the fear of rejection. Others may boldly state that they could not care less what others think of them. Yet how many bear witness to controlling anger when we are wronged? Genuine sarcasm in response to someone who says something cutting toward us? A need to let others know just how much we “don’t care” what others think? The compulsion to be rude and say, “I just tell it like it is”? Feelings of anger when we are disrespected…by complete strangers!? These are all signs we are walking in the carnal mind. Specifically, walking around believing one way or another, that our sense of worth is tied to how others accept or reject us. If we, in any way, are conscious of the possibility that others may reject us – to that degree, we are not walking in the mind of Christ. We are fearing rejection.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” I John 4:18

NOTE: The punishment we fear is the rejection we might face from others. This fear is the carnal mind exposed in us.
I am going to go one step further and take one of the most quoted sections of Corinthians and bring it home.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres…” 1 Corinthians 13

This famous “love” chapter is often cited in regard to “works” or how we act or behave. This is one of the most propagated distortions of scripture. “Walk in love” means literally to have your motion, activity or anything else that is being done, be accomplished from a position where one is submerged, immersed and abiding IN the reality and power of His nature (Love).

Nowhere…nowhere, does the Covenant of Jesus Christ discuss love as an act, except as an outpouring of the heart. That thinking is old covenant. The old covenant exposed the carnal mind by saying “don’t give in to your carnal desires.” The new covenant says we are given a new mind. Walk in that new mind. That new mind is love.

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in His love… My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” John 15:9,12

“God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.” I John 4:16

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom.” Colossians 3:16

The phrase “In Him” means to be immersed in His nature.This is not an “act.” It is a state of being. A state of existence. We either are abiding in His mind/nature, or we are abiding in the carnal mind, which is no longer who we are. We have the mind of Christ now, and if we allow it,the Holy Spirit guides us in the wisdom and mind of Christ moment by moment. (1 Corinthians 2:16, John 16:13)

At any time, at any moment, we are either abiding in one of two places: The carnal mind or the mind of Christ. What the Body of Christ needs to understand is that it is a thought by thought decision. Meaning, every thought we chose to mediate on, on any and all subjects, is a choice on whether we will exalt the Word of God on that subject, or exalt the carnal mind. Abiding in the mind of Christ, the new man, is meant to completely envelop us. Why? Because God is interested in our performance? Is it a works based righteousness He is after?

Not at all.

It is all about love. We can only enjoy fellowship with Him in the areas we are walking in His truth. And He is such a jealous Dad, He wants all of us. So does His Son, and so does the Holy Spirit. They love us that much. The second reason, as with all other topics related to His Kingdom, stems from the first. Because of His love for His children, He rages at the thought of us being held captive to fear, pain, anxiety, torment, or any other emotion that is in violation to His rest. (Joyce’s emphasis)

Whenever we are looking to receive acceptance from man, which is another way of saying we are fearing rejection, we must examine the lie we are believing at that moment. That lie is in direct conflict with the truth that God said we are the righteousness of Christ, which means we are fully pleasing to Him and cannot be made more perfect.

“For He who had not known sin made Himself to become sin in your place that we would become the righteousness of God in Him.” 1 Corinthians 5:21

“He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?” Romans 8:32

“For God was pleased to have all His fullness dwell in Him, and through Him to reconcile to Himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through His blood, shed on the cross. Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now He has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation.” Colossians 1:19-22

It is work in the beginning. To begin to recognize that our worth is independent of anything we can or cannot do, and is not attached in any way, to the acceptance, approval, dislike or outright rejection of others takes some time. We died to the carnal mind. It is time we enjoyed the blessings of the cost warranted to give you His mind. There was a bounty on our head. He paid the ransom so that we can forever be free from the task master of performance and the sting of fear.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.” 2 Timothy 1:7

Our worth is forever settled. The world says worth is the aggregate of your performance and conditional value in the eyes of those around you.

This is a lie. Our worth has forever been determined by our Creator and has forever been severed from anything else. The land of rest lies in our midst. It is among us, around us. It is in us. It is His spirit and His mind released that enters us into His rest. His eternal Sabbath. The rest is yours to possess. The Kingdom is already within you and released by agreeing with His Word. Take hold of that which is already yours.

Take it.

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