A Solemn Warning

Recently I had a vision of a dog lying in front of me a ways and he seemed to be licking his chest. As I drew closer I could see that it was a black and white Sheltie and he was trying to lick a gaping wound in  the front of his neck. There were blood stains on his beautiful fur and constant licking kept the wound open and bleeding. If he continued to lick he would eventually reach his jugular and die. The only way I could think of to intervene would be to put on him a collar and cone to prevent him from causing further injury to himself.

I bound a spirit of death and put a spiritual collar and cone on the dog to prevent further damage. While more than one interpretation of this vision is possible, this is what I believe I saw: the dog being someone’s personal pet represents something or someone dear to the owner’s heart. His black and white fur represent the secret place where the owner meets with the heavenly Father. White represents purity, so the dog represents someone with a relationship with the Lord. The neck symbolizes authority as when Pharaoh placed a chain around Joseph’s neck to indicate his authority in Pharaoh’s behalf. The wound could be anger, grief, distress, etc. The imminence of death was deeply disturbing to me.

Casting about in my mind, I asked the Holy Spirit to join me in intercession as I threw myself at the foot of the Father’s throne to get some understanding of this distressing sight. The Holy Spirit directed my attention to various verses in Galatians 5.

14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are prevented from doing whatever you want.

The soul of many Christians is large and their spirit is relatively undeveloped; yet the spirit is intended to have dominion over the soul or flesh. This condition cannot be tolerated by a holy God. With the soul and spirit in constant conflict the Christian cannot live in peace and victory and he/she will not be able to fulfill his/her destiny.

Romans 8:6 says: Now the mind of the flesh [which is sense and reason without the Holy Spirit] is death. But the mind of the (Holy) Spirit is life and soul-peace[both now and forever].


Brittle, Cracked Wineskins

The need to forgive to receive emotional and physical healing is critical. Especially for those in positions of leadership.  Christians who are not willing to cancel the debts owed to them (sins committed against them) cannot move forward as God pours out His Spirit richly and without measure these days. They won’t be able to retain what God so graciously gives without limit. To be in denial is to retain one’s old, cracked wine skin (“This is what God told me years ago.”) which is incapable of holding new wine. Old wine skins are brittle and inflexible but new wine skins are soft and supple.

Many who are not presently in leadership and consider themselves insignificant will be catapulted into positions of leadership because their greatest desire is to please their Beloved – the King of kings, the Lord of lords, the Most Holy One. Nothing else matters but the Master. Those are people the Holy Spirit can use!

Giving up the good to receive what is better is to pass from the soulish (mind, will, emotions) to dominion of the human spirit (wisdom, conscience, communion). The spirit of man was meant to rule over the soul and the flesh. There is a dearth of teaching on strengthening and enabling the human spirit. But the Holy Spirit is a gentle, longsuffering teacher as you struggle to put the old nature to death on the cross and experience exhilarating new life.

While many practice sinning every day in thought, word and deed, the Word admonishes us to be holy (I Peter 1:15-17) for without holiness no man will see the Lord (Hebrews 12:14). Holiness is a journey. The terms inner healing, emotional healing are nonbiblical terms for the pursuit of holiness. You can’t accomplish holiness by yourself. It is the process of walking in ever-increasing intimacy with an intensely personal, passionately loving Lord God.

Ephesians 3:19 [that you may come] to know [practically, through personal experience] the love of Christ which far surpasses [mere] knowledge [without experience], that you may be filled up [throughout your being] to all the fullness of God [so that you may have the richest experience of God’s presence in your lives, completely filled and flooded with God Himself].

Gender Memories. Part II

One painful memory stands out. I met a student from a neighboring school while teaching at a provincial university in China. He was my shadow but he didn’t want to attend English language functions when I invited him. Later this student met a couple of American “Christian” men and told them I tried to seduce him. I was horrified, but no amount of explaining would satisfy the American men. They believed that women were meant to cook their husbands’ meals and have their babies!!! Single women had little value!!! I know this because one of the American men took pity on me and wrote me a long letter explaining where I had gone wrong.

After this incident I retreated into myself. I called my female self The Prostitute and put my femininity in prison. Several years later as I was journeying through healing of alternate personalities, Jesus pointed out that The Guardian, as part of my will, was hindering His work in me, so I asked Him to have a chat with The Guardian. One morning Jesus came to meet The Guardian and explained to him that He, Jesus, could do a better job of protecting me and reminded The Guardian of incidents when I had needed deliverance and the Holy Spirit stepped in to send the attacking spirits packing. The Guardian not only agreed but he accepted emotional healing of gender confusion. Jesus was so pleased because the formerly cruel male guardian was willing to learn how to be submitted to Him as the woman she was created to be.

After The Guardian accepted Jesus, Jesus asked me to let The Prostitute out of prison.  I sure didn’t want to – she was dangerous – but I let her out for a breath of fresh air and she propositioned Jesus! So I whisked her back into her marble cell. When I asked Jesus if He was offended He said no. That puzzled me. Why would He not be offended?

With Jesus acting as my protector, I relented and again let The Prostitute out of prison. She was about the size of a Barbie doll from being imprisoned for so many years. He asked me to pray for her to grow and experience healing and restoration. And sure enough, as I prayed she grew right before my eyes. When she stepped out of the cell she wore a snazzy red dress with matching spike heels. When she reached full size, she walked up the incline to Jesus who met her with His arms open. They embraced and Jesus put His head down close to her ear where He could speak to her privately. As I stood back and watched, her red dress changed slowly to white and she kicked off her red heels . I was jealous of their intimacy.

I still didn’t understand who this snazzy prostitute was, but Jesus knew her and liked her a lot, so I held my peace. During this period of time the Praying Medic published a letter a woman had written about her gender identity and my eyes were opened. https://prayingmedic.com/category/gender-confusion/

The Prostitute was me – my gender identity. Oh my goodness! I didn’t know I had a gender problem. It has taken me a year to work through this incredibly beautiful healing. Jesus’ love for me as He created me to be is so awesome that I wonder at it every day. This experience has given me compassion for those who don’t realize they have a problem. Jesus is the Creator of all things and He knows us better than we know ourselves. His love for us is sweet and gentle. His whispers are soft and for our ears only. His patience, mercy and grace are inexhaustible. It has taken me a long time to be willing to share this healing because it is so intimate, but I felt that He would be pleased for me to share this much.

It’s amazing how tender little children are and how easily they can be destroyed. My parents’ words and nonverbal behavior came from their own identity problems but their influence was deeply destructive. My soul and spirit were crushed to powder, but the One who created me was more than able to restore and make me whole again. He is my awesome Lord and Master.



Gender Confusion. Part I

From my earliest memories I felt that I was a disappointment to my parents. As the first child I was a girl. I wasn’t valued as I believed I should have been. For example, when it was time for bed Mom let me get in by myself while she turned the lamp wick down low. When the wick sputtered out I would call her and she came back into my room where I slept alone to relight the lamp and again turn it down to a sputtering glow. I didn’t wonder why she didn’t tuck me in or why she didn’t take time to play with me. I just thought I wasn’t worth the time.

Mom’s parents lived across the street from the town school where I attended first grade. There was an iron stair fire escape from the third floor to the ground and when there were no classes we played on the metal stairs. One day Mom called me to her and told me I couldn’t climb the fire escape anymore because the boys could look up my dress. I was mystified. Why was that an issue?! No explanation was forthcoming but I felt left out of the fun.

Later, at a one-room country school to the sixth grade, we all played together, boys and girls. One day I played particularly rough and noticed stained underpants. We lived just north of the school so I asked permission to go home and change clothes. Mom helped me clean up and sent me back to school. There was only the ominous comment that this was going to happen once a month from now on. Because I was a girl.

As my body matured I caught the attention of my father who thought I might be fun to play with. Fortunately he reached for me in front of Mom who was preparing the evening meal and she spoke his name sharply (which she rarely dared to do) and he immediately stopped. I was still playing with paper dolls and made clothes for them which I designed. The dresses were deeply cut in front to show cleavage and Mom was so upset when she asked to see my clothing designs that she cried.

Stamps were an adult commodity and very closely controlled but I managed to get one when I was around 12 and wrote to my favorite male singer asking for his photo. When it came in the mail Mom nearly had a stroke and made me promise to burn his picture. By this time I realized that she was keeping things from me but I didn’t know what, so I was becoming rebellious against her unreasonable restrictions. At least, they were unreasonable to me.

My sisters and I were not allowed to attend school functions or date, so my sisters learned to be deceitful, but I was passive. The fights were not worth getting things I wanted, such as playing in the pep band at home games or being in the high school chorus and class plays which required night practices. We could not catch rides with classmates or their parents, only with older adults who had no children in school. I learned to be afraid of the opposite sex and disrespected my own gender because of the perceived weaknesses in the adult females I was acquainted with. This attitude stayed with me throughout my adult years.

In my 30s I learned to upholster while the United States was in a recession. Since I had no routine, I bought a horse which I broke and trained myself and showed. I bought a horse trailer and towed it behind a station wagon. A station wagon extended over the rear axles making turns and backing up difficult while towing but I had an ability to gauge distances so it was fun when I pulled into a show grounds towing the trailer. Men would come running to offer to park my car and trailer for me but I smiled and retorted, “No help needed.”

As you could guess, my heart was stone down inside a misleading exterior. My attitude was, “Anything a man can do, I can do, even to heavy lifting and strength (within reasonable limits) as a farm kid. I don’t have to look or act like a man to do those things, either. I can still look and act like a lady.”

During my time in China it was a revelation to me that not all men behaved like my father or most American men do. Because my education was in the sciences, the Chinese government placed me in positions of teaching English scientific vocabulary to mostly research scientists and engineers – men – who treated me with great respect. God knew years before, when He called me to China as a ten-year- old the healing I would need. Slowly the transition from a stony heart to one of flesh began.

Part II next week.



In a vision I was looking at a patch of green grass when I noticed some little white specks on a few blades of grass. As I studied the specks I realized they were aphids. Aphids come in various colors and are parasites, sucking the juices from living plants. They are fairly easy to get rid of by spraying the effected plants with soapy water, but left undisturbed they can reproduce rapidly and kill their hosts.

This brought to mind a situation I had been praying for. An individual had been attacked by a witch and had defended themselves by cursing the witch. Some time had passed and the individual was experiencing a variety of incidents intended to cause them to lose their joy and bring about anxiety. The “aphids” multiplied rapidly and the believer was losing strength and energy as the life was being sucked out of them.

This brought to my mind that we reap what we sow (Eph.6:7) (https://www.intouch.org/read/life-principle-6-the-principle-of-sowing-and-reaping) but it takes awhile for the seed to germinate and put out leaves, then flower, then bring on fruit which takes time to mature. “Aphids” that are left to reproduce quickly gain in numbers even though they are tiny, and can bring down a once-vigorous plant. By that time the curse can have been forgotten but the seed will still bring forth a crop multiplied by 30, 60 times or more.

Take the little foxes that spoil the vine (Song of Solomon 2:15) (http://biblehub.com/songs/2-15.htm). Small distractions can take our focus off Jesus’ face for only a flash, but as we allow those tiny diversions to multiply they can lead us away from the love of our lives: Jesus. We can have as much of Jesus’ presence as we want – He gives His precious Spirit without measure – but we are often hungry and thirsty for Him without realizing how the little foxes, the tiny “aphids”, have sapped our vitality. Jesus hasn’t moved away from us; rather, unawares we have moved away from Him.

Reading too much secular material, especially novels, can dampen one’s appetite for reading the Word. Too much time on social media can saturate one’s mind and time. Any other activities that take time away from the priority of our Lord and Master can be considered “little foxes” or “aphids” that suck the vitality out of our most precious relationship, Jesus. As we drift, we lose sensitivity to Him and have little awareness of His grief.  He will not interfere with our choices, but He yearns for us to make Him our foremost relationship in all things.

Patched Screen Door

In the early morning I saw an old fashioned screen door with a neatly sewn patch covering a hole in the wire screen. A screen door can represent a filter but the patch could symbolize a couple of situations. The individual could be concerned about accepting what he enjoyed about a situation and wishing to refuse what he did not like about that same situation. Or the hole could symbolize the individual’s yearning to receive all that was about to break through the filter. Eventually the patch would fail to hold back the yearned-for, looked-for-with-anticipation, impending blessings.

Sometimes God’s rich resources absolutely destroy our boxes (assumptions, logic, etc.). Understand this: God cannot be put in a box. That very thought is foolish, for He is the Creator of all and far exceeds our restraints. He is the Lion of Judah. That is, He doesn’t wear a collar. He is not tame; He is not predictable. His ways are far above our ways and our thinking. And He is love. He can be depended on but not controlled.

Anticipate God’s presence with expectation of blessing. He is creative and comes with richness and unimagined ways of doing and being. He satisfies every longing deeply and He knows what you long for, yet unexpressed. Yes, He is risky, and sometimes He requires all that you have to give and that little bit extra that only the precious Holy Spirit can strengthen you to come up with. Dare to trust Him. He Who gave His life for you can be trusted to watch over you with intense jealousy.

Stones of Fire

I saw an altar on fire. The flames towered so high the sacrifice could not be seen. The altar was made of stones and earth but they burned like tinder, snapping and crackling.

Elijah’s Prayer in I Kings 18:37-38 “Answer me, O LORD, answer me, that this people may know that You, O LORD, are God, and that You have turned their hearts back again.” 38Then the fire of the LORD fell and consumed the burnt offering and the wood and the stones and the dust, and licked up the water that was in the trench. 39When all the people saw it, they fell on their faces; and they said, “The LORD, He is God; the LORD, He is God.”…

In contemporary terms this altar is the heart of individuals who have sold themselves completely to a Savior Who gave His life for them. Their passion for Him flames so high that even the stones and rammed earth are burning intensely. What the pagan worshippers need to see is this intensity. Words are completely inadequate. Nor is this passion about words or works. It is the life lived in abandonment that speaks eloquently to those watching.

Revelation 3:15-17 (NIV) “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17 You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.”

This church/These believers nauseate Jesus. They make Him sick! So He “spits” them out of His mouth. The Greek word is emeo* means “to vomit.” Another word, ptuo, means “to spit” that John could have used if that is what he meant. A lukewarm church/believer makes Jesus vomit. He rejects this kind of Christianity. C. S. Lewis said, “Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and, if true, of infinite importance. The one thing it cannot be is moderately important.” [C. S. Lewis,” Christian History (65.19.1)]

*Strong’s Concordance                                                                                                                                                 Transliteration: emeó  1692 eméō – properly, vomit (MM); (figuratively) repulsed, showing utter rejection (desiring total separation); “to reject with extreme disgust”.

Without Measure

Recently as I was worshiping the King of kings in my Secret Place, a cloud floated toward me. It wasn’t a white, glowing cloud so I wondered what it was. When it was directly over my head it poured out the Spirit of Jesus and drenched me. The off-color represented water.  Just as the water-turned-to-wine at the wedding of Cana was the best toward the end of the celebration, so the Lord intends to pour out His Holy Spirit on us toward the end of this age. Without measure. I enjoy the liberally outpoured Spirit every time I come into my Beloved’s presence.

John 3:34 AMP  For He whom God has sent speaks the words of God [proclaiming the Father’s own message]; for God gives the [gift of the] Spirit without measure [generously and boundlessly]! 

Then, a few days later I saw a large wooden barrel tipped to pour out its contents. This time I saw a slide show beginning with faces and symbols representing evil. Then houses followed. Many houses of all kinds, including huts. I interpreted these to represent peoples and nations under the influence of evil. Jesus’ heart is yearning for the lost to discover Him and come for forgiveness and all that salvation embodies: peace, joy; emotional healing; freedom from enslavement to addictions, severe abuse and trauma, generational curses, etc.

Within the last month to six weeks I have seen with my own eyes the Lord’s generosity in healing and integrating multiple personalities (DID) and immune system issues caused from early trauma that in the past have taken some time to work through. God’s work is tender and beautiful and complete as we submit to His sweet Spirit within us. He is an awesome God! He wants a holy Bride and He is pouring out Himself to ready peoples and nations for a wedding like none we have ever seen or imagined!

John 3:16 (NKJV) For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Psalm 60:4
You have given a banner to those who fear You, That it may be displayed because of the truth. Selah.

Psalm 107:2-3  Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story – those he redeemed from the hand of the foe, those he gathered from the lands, from east and west, from north and south.

Isaiah 43:5-7…Do not fear, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east, And gather you from the west. “I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’ And to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’ Bring My sons from afar And My daughters from the ends of the earth, Everyone who is called by My name, And whom I have created for My glory, Whom I have formed, even whom I have made.…


Origin Of Easter

The origin of Easter is actually based on an ancient pagan celebration. Christians recognize this day as commemorating Jesus’ resurrection, but like so many other “Christian” holidays, Easter has become commercialized and mixed with non-Christian traditions like the Easter Bunny, Easter parades and hunting for Easter eggs.

The superimposing of a Christian holiday upon a pagan holiday is called syncretism. This was a  strategy of the Roman Catholic Church to draw new converts away from heathenism into Christian practice. That resulted in muddying the purity of the Gospel. So today we have fertility rites being practiced by Christ-followers who may or may not understand how defiling of the resurrection it is.

Actually, Easter is not a remembrance of the resurrection. The resurrection is remembered by the celebration of the Passover as a feast of the Lord found in Exodus 12 (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/search=Exodus+12&version=NIV). The feasts of the Lord are based on the lunar calendar so they vary from year to year.

Origin of Easter – Its Pagan Roots
The origin of Easter dates back to ancient times, not long after the global flood in Genesis 6-9 of the Bible. Nimrod, a grandson of Noah, had turned from following his grandfather’s God and had become a tyrannical ruler known for a lifestyle that promoted unspeakable evil and perversion. Later he would become known as Baal, and those who followed the religion his wife Semiramis created in his name would be called Baal worshippers. They became associated with idolatry, demon worship, human sacrifice and other evil practices.

According to the Bible, it was in the city of Babel that the people created a tower in order to defy God. Up until that time, all the people on the earth spoke one language. The building of the tower led God, as recorded in Genesis 11:7 to confuse their tongues to keep them from being further unified in their false beliefs. As the people moved into other lands, they took their pagan practices with them.

Contemporary traditions such as the Easter Bunny and the Easter egg can be traced back to the fertility rites established by Nimrod’s wife. To read more details about this, please click on the following link: https://www.allaboutjesuschrist.org/origin-of-easter.htm



If the Foundations Are Destroyed

Psalm 11 New King James Version (NKJV)

1 In the Lord I put my trust; How can you say to my soul, “Flee as a bird to your mountain”? 2 For look! The wicked bend their bow, They make ready their arrow on the string, That they may shoot secretly at the upright in heart. 3 If the foundations are destroyed, What can the righteous do? 4 The Lord is in His holy temple, The Lord’s throne is in heaven; His eyes behold, His eyelids test the sons of men. 5 The Lord tests the righteous, But the wicked and the one who loves violence His soul hates. 6 Upon the wicked He will rain coals; Fire and brimstone and a burning wind Shall be the portion of their cup. 7 For the Lord is righteous, He loves righteousness; His countenance beholds the upright.

Recently, in a vision the Holy Spirit showed me infinity. We stood on a shelf overlooking a vast void of grays and browns as far as I could see. Our universe was a pin point in the emptiness. I pressed against the Holy Spirit in fear. If I should fall I would never come to a landing but would fall forever.

Again, a second time, the Holy Spirit came to show me the vast void and I pressed against Him again. This time He turned me around to step back onto terra firma, and I glanced down to see that the ground was wrinkled. I bent over to get a better look, and to my horror the foundation of earth was cracked and crumbling.

I knew I was being shown this condition of the earth for a reason, so I asked the precious Holy One what He wanted me to know. “If the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?” (Psalms 11:3). What steps can we take to make sure that we and our children are not infected? That foundation is in jeopardy. Forces are at work to undermine it, causing it to crack and crumble under the load of a civilization weighed down with guilt. It is as the Apostle Paul prophesied:

In the last days perilous times will come: for men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. (2 Timothy 3:1-5)

Yet these characteristics of modern humanity are merely the outward manifestations of a deep, seething rebellion breaking forth against the Creator. Paul also described this in vivid terms,

… their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened… They exchanged the truth of God for a lie… Since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind…They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice… (Romans 1:21-29)

Like David, we can choose to say, “In the Lord I take refuge” (v. 1)

The answer is not to run away or be in denial.  David said, “How can you say to my soul, ‘Flee as a bird to your mountain’” (v. 1) God is available. “The Lord is in His holy temple; the Lord’s throne is in heaven” (v. 4). Nothing is beyond His control, and He is ready to hear our concerns and requests when we come to Him.

If we don’t deal with our sins, they will hinder our prayers. Only after our lives have been cleansed will He be able to hear us and use us in whatever ways He chooses.

People who don’t know Jesus become frightened when the foundations around them crumble and circumstances become difficult. They look for ways to protect themselves, but we can encourage them to look to the Lord.  He will show Himself strong to those who are willing to trust Him (v. 7).

The difficult times we face are larger than our own issues; all the nations of the earth are in trouble. The solution is not found in political leadership, but in pleading with God. According to history, revivals began with just a few people who humbly sought the Lord. If we sincerely and humbly turn away from sin and turn to God, a handful of scattered individuals can become a body joined together to cry out to the Lord for our nations.