Made in His Image
As I progressed through healing of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) I often thought about who Jesus is. If we are made in His image, is that why we have personal dignity? Is that why we are creative – because He is? When I prayed for healing of my mind Abba brought up memories I had no access to without His help, to expose lies I had believed and vows I had made before understanding why they were wrong. Changing those lies and falling out of agreement with those vows has revealed a person set free to be who God created to reflect Himself to the world.
When I surrendered my will and choices to Jesus, I thought about how respectful He is of my wishes even when my wishes are not His will.
Possibly the most important aspect of healing for me was my emotions. I was almost emotionless, with layer upon layer of limestone and marble around my heart. I dreaded being joyful because I had to come back down and landed off balance nearly every time. So I would rather not have joy than to be plunged deeper and never quite recover the former level of depression.
I was willing to forgive and cancel the debts of those who hurt me, but Isaiah 53 includes the healing of griefs and sorrows. Forgiveness doesn’t heal the pain of wounds inflicted. When I began to surrender that pain and received emotional healing I was filled with awe. So that’s what emotional purity felt like!! I was so happy, and to the present I am joyful inside. Made in God’s image….so God is emotional, too. That was a revelation to me. He laughed with me and we celebrated small victories together. Knowing that my Creator is emotional has continued to be a source of pleasure for me.
Because God is infinite and flawless, everything about Him is bigger than me. His drive to create is stronger than mine, so His pleasure in creating things is greater than my pleasure in sewing a new quilt, matching shapes and colors.
Each Person of the triune God is unique with distinctive likes and dislikes. That means, each is a fully developed individual with a distinctive personality. For example, it took me quite awhile to get acquainted with the Holy Spirit because I wanted to treat Him like I treated Jesus. Jesus was my Lover and I was eager to give and receive demonstrative affection to the Holy Spirit. But He told me He didn’t want that kind of affection. I was surprised. “You don’t? Why not?” But when I needed Him to protect me from some dark entities He was fierce in driving them out. So I knew He loved me. But He wanted to do all the loving while I did the receiving and praising and worshipping. I was deeply entrenched in performance, so that was difficult. I had to ask for His forgiveness and help in giving up the attempt to earn my own way and just accept His love without trying to earn it.
Early in my DID journey Jesus was my Friend, then Someone to play with me, then my Lover. The Holy Spirit never competes with Jesus for my love and attention. On the other hand, the Holy Spirit is my Teacher and Defender. I can ask Him questions and expect to get answers.
Abba is my Stability, my Rock. He likes for me to ask Him for things and when I get anxious or overburdened, He takes me in His lap and comforts me. I have learned to express my emotions of joy and pleasure as well as curiosity without fearing His impatience. All three of the triune God-head are so longsuffering and gentle and self-restrained. Sometimes I feel like a drama queen now that I’m out of prison but they are never short with me, and sometimes they even join in with laughter or a wild dance. If I’m deeply distressed for some reason they will join me in quiet sympathy. Jesus and the precious Holy Spirit are quick to aid my wordless intercession.
Early this morning as I walked I shared concerns about several things with my walking Companion, the Holy Spirit. When I returned to my apartment complex I sat on a bench in the shade to catch my breath. Behind me was a wild rabbit, startled by my presence. It stood frozen so I turned to speak softly to it. After several minutes it relaxed, sitting on its haunches. That pleased me so much and I thanked my precious Companion for the thoughtful gift. He knows me completely and knew what would lighten my mood.
Made in God’s image means far more than a physical expression of who God is. He is Mister Personality with dignity and grace, perfect in empathy and mercy, intimate in understanding me better than I know myself – and wise in guidance. He is trustworthy and keeps His Word. He is pure and clean. His integrity and righteousness are modified by forgiveness and longsuffering. His intention in making me was that I would reflect these traits with His help.
Have you ever thought about Jesus planning to marry you? He created mankind in His image, yet a little lower than the angels. Angels are more intelligent and more powerful than mankind, but they don’t have the authority God has endowed us with nor the freedom to choose. Neither are the angels to inherit all that belongs to the only begotten Son as we are. Jesus came as a Man to buy us back from Satan when we fell – and paid a terrible price for us. His plan from the beginning was to make Himself a Bride worthy of His love. That is a mystery of mysteries – He has created us to need Him. Does He need us? Bill Johnson once asked the rhetorical question: ” Is Jesus coming back for a bride He will be unequally yoked with?”